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Stop Writing Like a Robot: The Real Secret to Workplace Communication That Actually Gets Results

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Three months ago, I watched a perfectly competent project manager torpedo a $200K deal with an email that started: "As per our previous correspondence regarding the aforementioned deliverables..."

The client replied twenty minutes later: "Sorry, what are you actually asking for?"

That's when it hit me. We've completely lost the plot when it comes to workplace writing. Everyone's so terrified of sounding unprofessional that they've forgotten the point is to actually communicate with other human beings.

The Great Corporate Language Conspiracy

Here's an uncomfortable truth: most workplace writing is absolute garbage. Not because people can't write, but because they think they need to sound like a legal document to be taken seriously.

I've been training Australian businesses for over fifteen years, and I can tell you with complete confidence that the companies getting the best results are the ones where people write like they actually talk to each other. Revolutionary concept, right?

Take Canva, for instance. Their internal communications read like actual humans wrote them. No wonder they've built such a strong culture. Compare that to some of the corporate behemoths I've worked with where emails require a decoder ring.

The problem isn't grammar or spelling - though both matter. The problem is that we've been conditioned to believe that complicated equals professional. Wrong. Clear equals professional.

Why Your Writing Probably Sucks (And How to Fix It)

You're Using Too Many Words

Stop it. Seriously. If you can say something in ten words instead of twenty, do it. Your colleagues aren't impressed by your vocabulary; they're annoyed by your inability to get to the point.

Before: "We would like to take this opportunity to thank you for your continued patronage and look forward to the possibility of serving you again in the near future."

After: "Thanks for choosing us. We'd love to work with you again."

See? Same message, 78% fewer words. Your readers' time is valuable. Respect it.

You're Hiding Behind Passive Voice

"Mistakes were made." By whom? Martians?

Active voice shows ownership and creates clarity. Passive voice is what politicians use when they don't want to take responsibility. Don't be a politician.

Instead of: "The report will be completed by the team." Write: "Sarah's team will finish the report by Friday."

You're Not Actually Saying Anything

How many times have you read an email and thought, "What do they actually want me to do?" Too many, I'd bet.

Every piece of workplace writing should pass the "So what?" test. If you can't immediately identify the purpose and required action, rewrite it.

The Australian Advantage (That We're Wasting)

Australians have a massive advantage in workplace communication that we completely squander. We're naturally direct, conversational, and unpretentious. Yet the moment we sit down to write a business email, we transform into Victorian-era solicitors.

Embrace your Aussie directness in writing. Not to the point of rudeness, but enough to cut through the corporate fluff that clogs everyone's inbox.

Instead of: "I hope this email finds you well. I am writing to enquire about the status of the aforementioned project deliverables."

Try: "Hi Sarah, how's the Melbourne project tracking? Just need a quick update for the client meeting tomorrow."

Personal confession: I used to write emails that were longer than some novels. Thought it made me sound thorough and professional. Turns out it just made me sound like I had too much time on my hands and not enough respect for others'.

The Secret Weapon: Structure That Actually Works

Here's what nobody tells you about effective business writing: structure matters more than style. You can have perfect grammar and still create confusion if your ideas are scattered.

The BLUF method (Bottom Line Up Front) will change your life:

Lead with the conclusion or request
Provide necessary context
Include supporting details
End with clear next steps

This works for everything from quick status updates to complex proposals. Put the most important information first, always.

Stop Overthinking It

The biggest writing mistake I see in Australian workplaces isn't poor grammar or spelling. It's overthinking. People spend so much mental energy trying to sound smart that they forget to be clear.

Write like you're explaining something to a colleague over coffee. Would you say "facilitate a discussion" or "talk about it"? Would you "leverage synergies" or "work together"?

Your writing voice should be a slightly more polished version of your speaking voice. Not a completely different person.

Technology Won't Save You (But It Might Help)

Everyone's talking about AI writing tools these days. They're useful for catching typos and suggesting improvements, but they can't fix unclear thinking. If you don't know what you're trying to say, ChatGPT won't magically figure it out for you.

The best writing technology is still your brain. Use it to think before you write, not just while you're writing.

Quick reality check: 67% of workplace miscommunications stem from unclear written instructions, not lack of understanding. That's on us, not the readers.

The Things That Actually Matter

Forget most of what you learned in school about business writing. Here's what actually makes a difference:

Specificity beats generality every time. Instead of "soon," say "by Wednesday." Instead of "several options," say "three options." Your readers shouldn't have to guess what you mean.

Questions are your friend. If you need something, ask directly. If you're unsure about something, say so. Clarity trumps looking like you have all the answers.

Context is everything. Don't make people hunt through email chains or old documents to understand what you're talking about. A quick sentence of background can save everyone time.

The Perth Perspective (Because Someone Has to Say It)

Working with businesses across Australia, I've noticed Perth companies tend to be more direct in their written communication than their eastern counterparts. Maybe it's the mining industry influence, maybe it's the isolation, but there's less corporate fluff and more "here's what we need to do."

The rest of the country could learn from this. Clear, direct communication isn't rude - it's respectful.

Advanced Techniques for People Who Actually Want to Improve

Once you've mastered the basics, try these professional development strategies:

The 24-hour rule: For important communications, write them, then wait a day before sending. You'll be amazed at what you catch.

Read it aloud: If it sounds awkward when spoken, it probably reads awkwardly too.

The one-sentence summary: If you can't summarise your main point in one sentence, your message is probably too complex.

The smartphone test: If your email is hard to read on a phone, it's too long or poorly formatted.

What Nobody Wants to Admit

Most workplace writing problems aren't writing problems - they're thinking problems. People write poorly because they haven't clarified their thoughts first.

Before you type a single word, ask yourself:

What exactly do I want to achieve?
What does the reader need to know?
What action do I want them to take?

If you can't answer these questions clearly, don't write anything yet.

The Uncomfortable Truth About Perfectionism

Perfectionism is killing workplace communication. People spend so much time crafting the perfect email that they miss opportunities for real-time problem-solving.

Sometimes a quick, imperfect message is better than a perfect one that arrives too late. This doesn't mean being careless, but it does mean recognising when "good enough" is actually good enough.

Moving Forward (Because That's What Matters)

Here's the thing about improving workplace writing: it's not about becoming Shakespeare. It's about becoming clearer, faster, and more effective.

Start small. Pick one bad habit - maybe it's using twenty words where five would do, or burying your main point in the third paragraph. Fix that first.

The goal isn't to impress people with your writing. The goal is to get things done.

And honestly? In today's business environment, clear communication is impressive enough.

Looking to improve your team's communication skills? Check out our workplace communication training programs designed specifically for Australian businesses.